He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
