Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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