talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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