when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
