Please, let me fuck your mom
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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