So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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