why didn't you poke me back
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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