I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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