Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
