I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Cover your peen. We're going out.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize