your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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