so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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