I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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