Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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