I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
smell my finger.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
