I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize