went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
