dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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