whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
