2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
