he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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