No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize