If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
