eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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