I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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