best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
it was like eating out sand paper
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
