they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
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