I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
