I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
