Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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