I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
