making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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