so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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