He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
