i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
What drink are we having for lunch?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
