Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
my nose is crying tears of wow.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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