i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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