My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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