that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
