Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
