Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
