I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
