the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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