Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize