Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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