we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
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