Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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