And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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