i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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