Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize