if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
