omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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