The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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