eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
