Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize