Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
