I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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