Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
