id be glad to
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
