somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize