Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
